"Brendan" (8:16:15 PM): i'm so boring
"Brendan" (8:16:18 PM): you must be ashamed of me
kateavalanche (8:16:37 PM): terribly. i can't bring myself to go anywhere with you in public.
kateavalanche (8:16:50 PM): what would people think?
kateavalanche (8:17:37 PM): simply unfathomable, my dear friend.
"Brendan" (8:17:57 PM): BAWWWWWWW
kateavalanche (8:18:21 PM):
"Brendan" (8:18:51 PM): KAATTTIEEE HATTTEESSS MEEEEEEEEEE
kateavalanche (8:19:12 PM): nah
kateavalanche (8:19:15 PM): not especially.
"Brendan" (8:19:32 PM): why do you hate katie.
"Brendan" (8:19:34 PM): why do you hate.
kateavalanche (8:20:11 PM): lies, all of it!
kateavalanche (8:20:17 PM): i do not hate you, sir.
kateavalanche (8:20:22 PM): not even a little bit.
"Brendan" (8:20:30 PM): phew
"Brendan" (8:20:32 PM): that's a relief
"Brendan" (8:20:37 PM): so when do we get married
kateavalanche (8:20:54 PM): ...
kateavalanche (8:20:57 PM): i can't believe you.
kateavalanche (8:21:05 PM): how can you joke about something like this?
kateavalanche (8:21:12 PM): WE'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR OVE A YEAR.
kateavalanche (8:21:19 PM): AND YOU FORGOT.
kateavalanche (8:21:24 PM): LEAVE NOW.
"Brendan" (8:21:26 PM): OH SHI-
"Brendan" (8:21:36 PM): i'm so sorry
kateavalanche (8:21:38 PM): I don't know that I can bear to look at you now.
kateavalanche (8:21:44 PM): no, it's too late for that.
"Brendan" (8:21:44 PM): you see katie
kateavalanche (8:21:53 PM): don't, "you see katie" me!
"Brendan" (8:22:00 PM): but katie
kateavalanche (8:22:05 PM): i've had enough of your promises andl lies!
kateavalanche (8:22:11 PM):
"Brendan" (8:22:30 PM): katie do you remember that time when i promised you i would buy you a sports car and a villa in france
"Brendan" (8:22:40 PM): AND DIDN'T I KEEP MY PROMISE
kateavalanche (8:22:43 PM): no. but you made so many promises!
kateavalanche (8:22:50 PM): and NEVER FOLLOWED THROUGH
"Brendan" (8:22:53 PM): wat
"Brendan" (8:23:01 PM): oh yeah
kateavalanche (8:23:15 PM): you mean...
kateavalanche (8:23:27 PM): you have some tart on the side who you gave a car and a villa?!
kateavalanche (8:23:31 PM): and you can't give me the time of day?!
kateavalanche (8:23:42 PM): get out of my sight!
"Brendan" (8:23:47 PM): EXCUSE ME
"Brendan" (8:23:49 PM): IT'S 823
kateavalanche (8:23:49 PM): just go. it's too late for us.
"Brendan" (8:23:54 PM): IT'S 8:23
"Brendan" (8:23:58 PM): AND SHE MEANT NOTHING TO ME
"Brendan" (8:24:03 PM): OUR MARRIAGE IS THE REAL ONE
"Brendan" (8:24:10 PM): none of the others matter
kateavalanche (8:24:14 PM): YOU MEAN YOU MARRIED OTHER WIMMINS?!
kateavalanche (8:24:20 PM): WELL THEN.
"Brendan" (8:24:23 PM): some of them weren't women
kateavalanche (8:24:24 PM): I DON'T FEEL BAD TELLING YOU
kateavalanche (8:24:27 PM): I MARRIED OTHER WOMEN TOO!
kateavalanche (8:24:30 PM): hhahahahahahahaa
"Brendan" (8:24:36 PM): NO KATIE
"Brendan" (8:24:37 PM): NO
"Brendan" (8:24:39 PM): HOW COULD YOU
kateavalanche (8:24:41 PM): YES.
"Brendan" (8:24:45 PM): HAVEN'T I ALWAYS BEEN TRUE TO YOU
kateavalanche (8:24:50 PM): UM, NO.
kateavalanche (8:24:54 PM): NO, YOU HAVEN'T.
"Brendan" (8:24:57 PM): wait a second
"Brendan" (8:25:01 PM): WAIT JUST ONE SECOND
"Brendan" (8:25:08 PM): IS IT THAT STRUMPET KELLY SODERBURG
kateavalanche (8:25:10 PM): YOU DON'T DESERVE EVEN A SECOND.
"Brendan" (8:25:14 PM): I KNOW IT IS
kateavalanche (8:25:18 PM): NO!
"Brendan" (8:25:20 PM): I KNOW YOU MARRIED HER
"Brendan" (8:25:26 PM): YOU DID, YOU MARRIED KELLY SODERBERG
kateavalanche (8:25:29 PM): NO, WHAT KELLY AND I HAD WAS TOO PURE TO SULLY IT LIKE THAT.
"Brendan" (8:25:29 PM): AND HAD LESBIAN BABIES
"Brendan" (8:25:44 PM): AND LOTS OF HARDCORE GIRL ON GIRL ACTION
kateavalanche (8:25:47 PM): WE WERE IN LOVE, YES.
kateavalanche (8:25:50 PM): BUT WE KNEW IT COULD NEVER BE.
kateavalanche (8:25:59 PM): NOT WHILE I WAS SHACKLED TO YOU IN THIS LOVELESS MOCKERY OF A MARRIAGE.
"Brendan" (8:26:04 PM): you're lying to me again, i bet you married that strudel twice
kateavalanche (8:26:14 PM): Oh, Brendan.
kateavalanche (8:26:17 PM): if only you knew.
kateavalanche (8:26:30 PM): THE TEARS I'VE CRIED OVER YOU.
"Brendan" (8:26:53 PM): katie don't you remember when i promised to you on the eiffel tower as fireworks exploded overhead commemorating the liberation of paris from the Nazis
"Brendan" (8:26:57 PM): proposed*
kateavalanche (8:27:40 PM): no, but i was pretty drunk the entire time we were in france.
"Brendan" (8:27:56 PM): ....you... you said you would stop drinking for me
"Brendan" (8:28:04 PM): and that it was wine-flavored grape juice
kateavalanche (8:28:06 PM): ho'snap
kateavalanche (8:28:13 PM): you see, darling
"Brendan" (8:28:13 PM): and that your headache medicine was making you act funny
kateavalanche (8:28:21 PM): oh, well, that was true.
kateavalanche (8:28:29 PM): but i was only taking it for the hangover.
kateavalanche (8:28:45 PM): but, you have to understand...
kateavalanche (8:28:56 PM): it was never you i loved...it was your impressive wine cellar.
"Brendan" (8:29:07 PM): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
kateavalanche (8:29:15 PM): why else would i have stayed with you for so long and given you so many children?
"Brendan" (8:29:16 PM): I SHOULDA KNOWN
"Brendan" (8:29:18 PM): BITCHES LOVE WINE
kateavalanche (8:29:27 PM): YES, BRENDAN.
kateavalanche (8:29:34 PM): AND THIS BITCH LOVES WINE MORE THAN SHE LOVES YOU.
"Brendan" (8:29:42 PM): *is filled with despair*
kateavalanche (8:29:49 PM): *is filled with wine*
"Brendan" (8:29:57 PM): lol'd
"Brendan" (8:30:06 PM): we have some really weird conversations
kateavalanche (8:30:08 PM): i know
kateavalanche (8:30:11 PM): i love that about us.
"Brendan" (8:30:15 PM): idk but every time i end up talking to you it ends up getting really weird
"Brendan" (8:30:23 PM): this actualy does not happen with everybody
kateavalanche (8:30:24 PM): i fail to see why that's a problem.